So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
