i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
