please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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