how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Send help, water and tortillas.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
