I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
