Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
