just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
