It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
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Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
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I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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