I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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