So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
