I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
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I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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