I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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