Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she peed on how many people?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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