its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
