just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Two words: blizzard sex
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
