that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
