I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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