When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
