The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
