So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
