I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
