i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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