But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
