Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I accidentally burped into my bong.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
