weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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