I'm drive I can fine osifer
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
