does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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