do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
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Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
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She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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