Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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