So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
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i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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