He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
