Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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