My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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