woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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