Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
