SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
