I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
