addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
