Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
This toilet bowl is my home.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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