put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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