we have officially lost it.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
