shes about as inviting as chlamydia
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
