Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
