it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
