Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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