if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize