Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
