apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Randomize
