drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
