its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
