Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
