Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
