i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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