is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Mom said you looked used
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
