id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
im on a boat
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