bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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