my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
