If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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