people are starting to question the shark bite story
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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