i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
