I'm eating all of the evidence.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
