Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
