I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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