for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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