fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i just sent this text using only my big toe
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
