Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Houston, we have a squirter
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
