I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
