Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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