did you get engaged???
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
where does the pee come out of this thing
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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