yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
