I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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